📍 The Intimacy Lie:

What Hollywood Taught Us to Want

By The Old Guardian - Inspired by https://substack.com/@lishashi

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People say the definition of intimacy is changing.

That what once meant sex and physical closeness now means emotional exposure — being seen, known, accepted.

But here’s a harder truth:

The “old definition” of intimacy — the one built around sex — may have never actually existed.
At least not naturally. Not authentically.
Not outside of Hollywood.

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🎬 A Script, Not a Standard

For decades, media, marketing, and entertainment taught us that:

• Sex = Closeness

• Romance = Love

• Desire = Safety

• And chemistry = Connection

But that’s not intimacy.
That’s the trailer, not the movie.

That’s the part you can photograph, package, and sell.
Because emotional intimacy doesn’t film well.
There’s no montage for psychological safety.

As Lisha Shi recently said:

“Media and advertising trained us to associate intimacy with romance and sex. Emotional closeness doesn’t sell perfume or movies the way physical closeness does.”

She’s right.
We were never taught intimacy.
We were sold a shortcut.

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🧠 What Intimacy Really Was — Before It Got Rebranded

Before Hollywood, before perfume ads, before sitcoms and romcoms...

Intimacy was built, not bought.

It meant:

• Trust earned over time

• Vulnerability that felt safe

• Loyalty in the face of fear

• Witnessing someone’s truth — and not walking away

This version didn’t need candles, rose petals, or pillow talk.
It needed presence.

And it wasn’t just romantic.
It was platonic. Spiritual. Communal. Familial.

In other words:

What we’re calling a "new" definition of intimacy… might actually be the original.

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🔁 What Happens When Two Systems Collide

The fallout is everywhere:

• Women are asking for depth.

• Men are responding with affection, effort, or sex — the way they were taught.

One is speaking the new language.
The other never got the memo.

Result? Everyone feels misunderstood.

Men feel like they’re “doing the right things” and it’s not enough.
Women feel emotionally stranded.

And both walk away wondering why it doesn’t feel like love.

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📣 So Where Do We Go From Here?

We stop pretending that our media inheritance was truth.

We stop blaming each other for miscommunication when both sides were handed the wrong playbook.

We stop mistaking what was sold to us for what we actually need.

Because at the heart of real intimacy is something no camera can capture:
“I see you. I’m not leaving.”

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🟦 If this resonated — repost, share, or leave a comment.
Let’s rebuild the definition — together.

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