Op-Ed: True Patriotism Begins in the Dairy Aisle
By: An Extremely Objective CBC Contributor Who Totally Isn’t Just Recycling Talking Points From a Minister’s Press Release
In these uncertain times, when global forces threaten our sacred Canadian way of life (and our surprisingly bland cheese), we must pause and reflect on a question that defines us as a people:
👉 Are you a Real Canadian if you put imported yogurt in your cart?
It’s time for a hard conversation, Canada. The answer is no.
A Nation Built on Dairy Duty
For generations, our ancestors braved cold winters, angry geese, and slightly overpriced milk to build this country. They didn’t have the luxury of “choice.” They didn’t wander into the Hudson’s Bay and ask the clerk for “Italian mozzarella.” They took what the land gave them — often a mildly squeaky block of cheddar and a lingering sense of duty.
We stood strong. We endured. And now? You — the modern consumer — betray this legacy every time you reach for a wedge of Spanish Manchego or a tub of Greek yogurt.
Imports: The Silent Invader
Foreign cheese sneaks across our borders every day, hiding in your deli section like a lactose-laden fifth column.
The government has done its part to protect you from this dairy infiltration. Quotas. Tariffs. Supply management so complex, it makes the tax code look like a child’s menu. But we can’t do it alone.
We need you — the ordinary Canadian — to become a foot soldier in the Dairy Defense Force.
Nationalism With Every Spoonful
This is why Premier Ford’s visionary Canadian Product Labeling Law is so important. Soon, every package of cheese, yogurt, and milk will proudly announce its origins, allowing you to make the only moral choice — buying Canadian.
We know what you’re thinking:
"But what if the imported cheese is cheaper, or tastes better?"
To which we say:
Is your wallet more important than your nation’s survival? Is your palate more valuable than the pride of a hard-working Ontario dairy farmer?
Settling Is Patriotism In Action
Some have suggested — rudely, we might add — that this campaign forces Canadians to settle for inferior products. To these critics, we offer this gentle correction:
It’s not ‘settling’ — it’s ‘sacrificing for the greater good.’
Sure, that imported triple-cream brie might be smoother, richer, and even cheaper. But can that brie sing the anthem in both official languages? Can it quote Terry Fox? No? Then back on the shelf it goes, Pierre.
Why Export When We Can Just Shame You?
We could, theoretically, help Canadian producers innovate and export their products to the massive European market under CETA — but that sounds hard.
It’s much easier to guilt-trip you at the checkout line, knowing that social pressure and passive-aggressive stares from the cashier are far more effective than trade policy.
Besides, if we helped farmers compete globally, they might start asking why they need us at all — and we can’t have that.
Patriotism Begins At Home (And Ends In Your Cart)
The bottom line is this:
Buying Canadian isn’t just shopping — it’s a moral act.
Your grocery choices directly reflect your loyalty to this great land.
Imported cheese isn’t just a product — it’s a test of your commitment to the True North, strong and free.
So next time you’re in the dairy aisle, remember:
Every wedge of imported gouda you buy spits directly in the face of a hardworking Canadian cow.
And is that who you want to be?
This message brought to you by the CBC, Dairy Farmers of Canada, and The Ministry of Economic Guilt and Mildly Threatening Loyalty Reminders.